Don't blink... Or you may miss it all

They tell you that when you have your first baby. "Don't blink, it'll go by quicker than you can imagine." And in between the brain farts that plague new motherhood, this registers, kind of. But it doesn't really sink in. Until nearly seven years later as your sleepy little girl rests her head on your breast as she once did as an infant. And you see the familiar curve of her face as you haven't seen it since the last time you nursed her. It's like a mack truck you never saw coming. It will bowl you over and make you bawl your eyes out. Oh how did I miss so much!? How did I let it go by so quickly? The answer is complex, and not in the least bit does it feel like a good enough one. Yes I worked a ton as a single mother because I had to support my daughter. But I also allowed myself to have "me time" and adult relationships. I now see how stupid and selfish and blind I was. I spent time with my daughter while she was growing up whenever I could, but did I truly appreciate it? I nursed her and rocked her and sang to her, but was I present in that moment, or was I mentally elsewhere, perhaps thinking about the things I would get done once she finally fell asleep? I contemplate these things as I look down the road to having a new baby in our lives. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made the first time around. But this feels like it somehow isn't quite fair to Kay. She didn't get the benefit of the "knowing mom" me. She and I had to learn together. And I regret this fact to the core of my heart so strongly that it gives me chest pains. I can't ever get back and correct those mistakes. The guilt I feel about everything that she has gone through as a child of a single parent has put cracks in my heart that no amount of mortar can fix. This singular regret has been haunting me in the background so quietly I couldn't even express it properly.

I. Didn't. Do. Enough.

And I know she is stronger for having gone through all of this, but is stronger always better? She will always be able to adapt to whatever life throws at her, but will that adaptability lead her to seek out a life riven with strife and chaos? How will having me as a mother affect her future? I don't know. And it scares the hell out of me. I would give anything to go back knowing what I know now and be a different kind of mother, a better mother. But I can't. So I have to move forward as the best I can be. I have to find a way to sink this damn guilt that is ill founded and does neither of us any good. It isn't warranted really as I did the best I could in a rough situation and it can't right the wrongs and help us in moving forward.

Looking down at her tonight was like opening my eyes after the longest blink in history. A blink that lasted almost 7 years during which I lived in a foggy daze and wasn't really connecting with everything going on around me. As if, the last time I held her to my breast and nursed her, I blinked and it lasted until 30 minutes ago when I held her and looked down. I can't blink anymore. I'm afraid that if I do, then next time I open my eyes she'll be in high school and hating me. I am so very grateful that we now live in the country where life moves slower. Where life seems more wholesome somehow. I love that feeling. I see how she loves it here too. Maybe it will help us hold on to her more out here. But now I must find a way to learn to live without blinking. To be in the now. To be present. It's time for the fog to clear and the mindful living to begin again.

I breathe in...... I breathe out.........

Some tears and a fresh start

My beautiful husband.

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out because P has just left again. I know it's ridiculous and I know that this is what our lives are like now with him working in Arizona, but it's an absolute killer. I know he doesn't want to go and I know that our lives depend on him going and so I try, really try not to cry, but I Just. Can't. Help it. I went from working wife with a working man to stay-at-home-wife with a traveling husband overnight. He is gone every other week and it sucks. I know I should be grateful that he has such a wonderful position that allows us to live here in Michigan and I am, I swear I am.... I am trying to be. But being left every other week is so incredibly hard.

This past two months has seen a lot of change for us. I have wanted to write and tell you what has been happening, but every time I started I just couldn't find the words. Or I found the words and knew they were either too little or too much to describe what was going on. We have spent seven weeks in our new house. The first week just me and K as P had to fly out the day after our moving van was unloaded. So as soon as the boxes were off, we drove to Chicago and put him on a plane. Then we picked him up a week later.

Let me outline how that trip looks. Load both dog beds and crates into back of Edge, load dogs on top. Don't forget food and meds for Petey! Load luggage for our overnight stay(and for the first four weeks of life in Michigan we had NO washer and dryer so this also included ALL of our laundry. Each time we went to Chicago.) laundry hamper, K's music for night time and toys and drawing stuff for the ride down. Load child and two parents, make sure house is locked and zoom to the city. When I would go get him the scenario was the same except that I did it all by myself. It was frenetic and my car STILL looks like we live in it. I'm not kidding. I get sympathetic looks at the grocery store. They think I'm homeless. The fact that I show up in sweat pants, a hole-ridden down jacket and ratty snow boots does not help this image. Nor does a total lack of makeup, hair thrown up in a messy bun and the ragged look on my face.

Anyway, that scene plays out twice during a five day span every other week. Until today as P has been blessed with the use of someone else's vehicle as K has school tomorrow and I can't take him. The last week of January and the first week in February, K and I went with P to AZ. It was too soon and I wasn't yet settled here so it felt all wrong, but K enjoyed herself and it was great not to be separated by 3000 miles of America from my husband. It was good to see my family too as I will not get much opportunity to do that now that we live here. And I miss them like crazy.

During all of this crazy I am attempting to homeschool my daughter completely off the cuff as I wasn't expecting it this early in our lives and I have no curriculum or structure to work with. My mom valiantly tries to help me out and schools K in AZ to get the ball rolling while I sleep away the terrible fatigue that has finally caught up with me after all the drama we have been living since the beginning of December.

At our new house in MI we are experiencing some pest problems, giant hornets and their larva as well as a mouse who insists on pooping on my couch, but is never around when I let the cats come up to hunt. Not to mention the unpacking business is going quite slowly as we try to figure out how to arrange our lives for the next bit of forever. What to keep and what to kick.

Week before last P was in AZ and K and I were battling through another day of home schooling, when she turns to me and says "you're just not a fun teacher mom." I know this, I can't figure out how to change it though as I have zero formal training and currently a decided lack of energy and patience. I tell her I'm sorry and she say "it's ok, but I really miss school." That did it. I asked if she would like to go back, she said yes. The next day I tell P and we agree that when he gets back we will enroll her in public school. I didn't have to do much soul searching on this one. My daughter has been through enough and now she doesn't even have the luxury of having friends to hang out with and be social. This is not how I want home schooling to go, this situation was thrust upon me before I was ready, yet I still feel like I've failed somehow as a mother. We put her in school this past Friday. She came home happier than I have seen her in weeks. I don't regret our decision. But it still makes me a little sad. Ah well, maybe further down the line when we are actually settled and our lives have some sort of rhythm.

I need rhythm. I thrive on structure. I have neither right now. But I'm reaching for it. We all are as a family. K has her school. P's work/travel schedule is getting into a pattern of normalcy. I will now have my daytimes free to go back to being productive. Keeping the house clean, going to yoga and water aerobics, knitting, reading. I haven't had a single second alone, truly alone, since November. I will have my first tomorrow after I drop off K. I have NO idea what I will do with it. Cry? It's a distinct possibility as I hate loneliness. But it's more likely that I'll go to Yoga and breath deeply; straighten my spine and remember who I am. I am not this weak girl who is currently being crushed under the weight of the crazy that has been our lives these past few months. I am the woman who gets back up. Each time I get knocked down, no matter how comfortable and safe that ground seems.....
I. Get. Back. Up. Under no circumstances am I going to let that be changed now. Tomorrow I'm going to crawl out of this misery and set things in order. Not tonight though. Tonight I'm going to get into my pajamas and warm up leftovers, eat a MASSIVE bowl of rainbow sherbet and watch a movie with my daughter. Because tonight I am a woman missing her husband and I just have to come to grips with this new and frequent truth in my life before moving on to the next big thing.

I hope that wherever you are, you are warm and happy and safe.

WV to MI to AZ..... and back again

So nobody freak out, we are only here in AZ temporarily. We are not moving back here. If I have to see my stuff in a U-haul again in the next two years, I may just lay down and die. I'm done moving. Done living out of a suitcase with my life in a constant state of chaotic flux. DONE. I have literally hit my limit, busted through it, and gone completely insane in the last eight weeks. I am emotionally spent and physically impaired. I cannot handle any more right now. I even balked at coming to AZ for a visit. I know, that sounds ludicrous. It isn't. I have to live out of a suitcase for another week and it rankles. But it is what it is and I am here. So I am trying to allow myself to enjoy it, though my home is still largely in boxes back in MI and I feel mentally scattered. However, there have been some really good times over the last few weeks as we started settling in, some pretty rough ones too, but such is life. I will have some indoor pics for you soon of the new place, it's still too unsettled to suit me. It is gloriously '80s in styling, but I love it. The cats and dogs are settling in too. I'm not sure if the cats love the basement, but they have caught and killed one mouse so far so it can't be that bad down there. The dogs, especially Roo, LOVE our new place. Nearly three fenced acres of winter wonderland for him to explore and play in. Petey is getting used to the snow, but his butt fur still stands on end when he gets cold, usually five seconds after getting outside, but the snow seems to be growing on him too.

Kay is obviously in heaven, here is her first snowman.

So what has happened since my last post? Well, we went back to WV and packed up all the items that managed to get unpacked. That Sunday, January 4, I stepped off the back porch and sprained my ankle. Badly. Here's a pic.

Naturally I sprained my right ankle. My driving ankle. Right before we were to drive home to MI. As I stepped off the porch, my ankle gave out and rolled all the way to the ground and I heard a pop like the sound of a gun going off. I fell over and started screaming, the pain was so intense, I thought I had broken it for sure. So off to the ER we went, after P picked me up off the ground, and a lovely little WV doctor told me it wasn't broken and sent me on my way. After five minutes. They only took two films and offered no suggestions for PT or follow up care. Real class A health care out there. Anyhow, the crutches hurt and were clumsy so I ditched them the next day and started walking on it. I know, I'm an idiot, but I had to drive a U-haul and needed to be able to walk on it.

So we went and picked up the U-haul(two days after the ankle sprain), we had to go an hour south to get it though because the one promised to us in Parkersburg was no longer available. Of course. The night we brought it home, we were trying to back it into our crazy driveway when the front right tire got stuck in the ditch and we couldn't get it out. It was dark and freezing out and we had to call a tow truck to pull us out. The next day, we had the same movers who moved us in come back and pack the U-haul truck we picked up. They sucked and were unable to fit everything into the truck even though we dumped a bunch of stuff so we had to run and get a trailer too last minute. We hitched it up to the Edge, loaded it ourselves with me gimping about, and off we went. We spent three days getting to MI due to the weather. Luckily, thanks to the U-haul debacle and my ankle, we missed being caught in the deadly crash on I-94. We have actually gone over our original time line and we would have likely been in it if not for a little divine intervention. :)

I drove the U-haul for all three days. They weren't long days and I really enjoyed it actually. Here's a pic of me freezing my buns off in the U-haul.

En route, our little girl lost, first one, then the other of her two front teeth. One came out in an apple, the other was swallowed as she slept. She says she hopes they never grow back as she feels cuter now. LOL.

Soooo, when we got to MI, P had a bit of trouble getting the Edge plus trailer up the street going to our house.

Luckily my brother in law came and snagged it with his big Dodge Ram and a few ice slicked hills later, we finally made it. Phew. More movers showed up and unloaded us. Then we threw the cats in the basement and loaded the dogs and our suitcases back into the Edge and headed for Chicago as P had to fly out the next morning. Yes, that's right, we were at our new home for a mere few hours and then left for our good buddy Flaco's house. We brought all of our dirty clothes and I did tons of laundry. We did drop K off at my sister in law's so she wouldn't have to travel any more, which was a huge relief for both of us. Poor kid has seen the inside of more hotels in the last month. P flew out at 5am on Sunday and I drove back up to MI to meet my new in laws at our house to start the process of unpacking. It was nice to finally start the process knowing that I was home at last for a good long while, but I was so tired, it didn't last long. I spent the night on the couch with K and the next day started to unpack some more and ran out to get some groceries. That night I put the bed together and tried to sleep. I woke up at 3am and ran for the bathroom. I threw up until there was nothing left. And again at 7am, 8:30 and 9:30. I shouldn't have had that Taco Bell the day before. The next two days were filled with all over body aches and a severe fever. I'm not going to lie, I thought I might die. But the only way I was getting to the Dr was in an ambulance so I figured I would just tough it out. Lucky for me, my lovely sister in law dropped off a care package with gatorade in it and saved my life.

When I was starting to feel a little better, I tried to eat real food at Panera. I had to stop, but K had her first broccoli cheddar soup and LOVED IT!!!

And so life has gone on. After getting over whatever the heck was wrong with me K and I went to pick up P from Chicago. Spent another night doing laundry at Flaco's and headed home for P's first night in the new house. We have been unpacking and settling in since then. Really we unpack with less fervor and spend lots of time exploring the big yard and playing in the snow. P spends his weekdays working in the office and K and I do school work and take nature walks.

Here is my beautiful bewhiskered husband, looking like a record producer, enjoying some noise canceling wonderfulness from Bose.

Our life here on this hill feels idyllic and I am so very glad that we have chosen to make MI our home. It feels right to me in a way I can't really grasp yet. I thought I would feel displaced for a while, at least for a period of adjustment, but there hasn't been any of that. It just feels like a piece of our puzzle slid into place. I love it, the austere winter landscape and the bracing cold air have a cleansing affect on my mind. I look forward to learning more and seeing more and nesting like a small animal until everything is just so. As for my ankle, I finally saw a Dr at CORE today and they took real X-rays and determined there is no break, just really bad ligament damage that may or may not need surgery. PT will begin upon our return to MI and we will go from there. For now, we are happy and (relatively)healthy and very appreciative of everyone who has helped us to get here. Thank you for your patience in waiting for this post! I promise to post more frequently now!

Random thoughts from the road: Back to WV on New Years Day

I rummaged around in my computer bag and pulled out my iPad mini and my iPod, setting them both on the center console next to me. K looks right at me and says, I’m really aiming for the iPad. Then she tells us “The music sometimes carries me away.” Too cute. I am daily confronted by this child’s propensity for deep thoughts, her beautiful mind makes my heart smile. And so now she is happily distracted by technology and I can blog. Perfect. Now I can write. With a head as full as mine has been lately, I find I need to write often. I have at least 5 blog posts that I have already started and some even finished that I have not been able to post due to our current, nomadic situation.

I know everybody has been anxiously waiting to hear what has transpired between AZ, WV, and MI. So here it is. WV is dead to us, and while we may visit it someday in the future, we will not be living there. We will be running into the sheltering arms of family in MI.  

So we are moving!!!! Again. You may have seen several posts to that affect recently on our Facebook threads. But between holiday get togethers and being sick, also again, I haven’t had a chance to write. I’m sorry to keep you hanging! We are driving back to WV now and I hope to post this when I get home. (I didn’t as our internet was down when we got here. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? And then I sprained my ankle, and the Uhaul had to be picked up from a location 45 min away in the snow. And so on. More on that tomorrow maybe?)

As we drive, all sorts of things run across my mind; how much I wish I had my sketch pad because I feel inspired by the beautiful farmhouses and barns we have been driving past for the last three weeks; how much I love my daughter and want to have more children like her, and sooner rather than later; how blessed we are and how easily this all could have gone a different way and we could be moving to somewhere terrible instead of moving home. I think about what it will be like to be a full time mother, teacher, and duck wrangler. This line of thought leads me to the upcoming spring and makes me contemplate just what I envision for my newest animal escapade: The Duck.

So far I have narrowed down my breed choice to two breeds: Ancona ducks and Khaki Campbells. These are two very distinctly different breeds of duck that I will likely raise at the same time, though I will focus on breeding the Anconas and maybe crossing them with the Khakis. So let me give you some background on both to give you an idea of what they are like. The Ancona is a critically endangered duck that I chose off of a list of endangered animals because they match all of my criteria for what I want in a duck. Excellent egg layers, having between 210-280 eggs a year, big enough for meat at 6-6.5 lbs each, and beautiful with their white coats splashed with black spots. They appeal to me on all levels really; they are shaped like a duck, but pretty like a pinto pony. They are very adaptable and hardy animals, which is needed in MI, especially in the winter. Their meat is tasty and lean so when the occasion arises, as it will, we will enjoy eating them as well. Don’t be sad, we will be furthering the breed and keeping most of them alive! Not to mention the fact that these ducks are capable of eating large bugs, like banana slugs(I just threw up a little in my mouth, ugh) that might try to eat my vegetable garden! Their crowning attribute is their calm temperament. I want my ducks to enjoy my company and follow me around and these surely will if raised right.  

The second breed I want to raise is the Khaki Campbell duck. This is a significantly smaller duck, and at 4-4.5 lbs, not much good for eating. Their egg laying ability, however, is second to none with 250-350 eggs per year!!! On the high end, that’s the kind of egg production you would get from a chicken! These guys are still pretty enough to satisfy me aesthetically as well with their pretty brown feathers and the green heads the males wear. They are quite skittish and flighty(lol) ducks though, so I will have to make sure Rooster doesn’t get any ideas. He will be trained with them from the minute they are babies, so hopefully that will help them to not fear the dogs. They will start their lives in our home until old enough to go outside, so Roo and Peter will have plenty of time to see them, smell them, and be told “no” whenever they get that “I think I’d like to eat that” gleam in their eyes. I was really hoping Roo might end up being more of an outdoor livestock guardian, but I’m not sure his breeding will allow it, as he would likely spend all day herding the animals from one side of the yard to the other without rest.  Which would mean eventually getting a strictly outside guard dog like a Maremma Sheepdog. But for now, I have what I have and I shall be glad for it. 

I know you probably want pictures of the new place, but we didn’t take any! We will be there soon though and I will take some as we move in. And I’ll tell you all about how we found it and the amazing elderly couple we are renting it from. After this, I’m not moving for a few years at least! Happy New Year friends!!!

Christmas at Flaco's 2014

A year ago, we drove out to MI and IN so me and K could meet P’s family and friends. And yeah, I WAS CRAZY NERVOUS! Like seriously, I think I went through, like, three or four sticks of deodorant. I should have bought stock in Degree. But, it was AWESOME. P’s family was so welcoming and kind. Even though I let slip a cuss word in the first five minutes of being there. Which, by the way, I totally don’t remember!!! But P swears that I did. What can I say? I have a terrible potty mouth. My Daddy says I talk like a longshoreman. AAAAAANYWAY, they still liked me! And I kept a lid on my yap after that too. It was beautiful up in MI with several feet of snow and lots of playing outside. K had a blast with the kids, but boy was she het up and angry when the snow got in her mittens. “IT’S BURNING ME!!!!! MOMMMY!!!!!! IT HURTS SO BAD!!!” LOLOLOL!!! I had to curb my laughter because she is a sensitive and sweet girl. When you laugh, she often gets upset because she thinks you are making fun of her. I actually have video of her catching air on her first sled ride. See below 

      So funny, she was thrilled and terrified at the same time, then really ticked when she fell off the sled. I’ll have to find that video. Found it, watched it, will post it. She’s such a sassafras. I couldn’t be more proud. After Christmas with the family we headed back down to IN to meet P’s friends. Had an absolute blast with everyone before heading to see my Aunt S in Indy and then heading home. 

So naturally, since we weren’t at home on Christmas morning, I had to ask Santa to deliver her presents to MI. Which he did, obligingly, and I really hoped we would be home for Christmas this year, but we don’t, as yet, have a home, and have instead taken over R’s(aka Flaco) house and set up a tiny fiberoptic tree for Santa, who has graciously agreed to deposit K’s gifts here this year. I’m telling you what, he’s probably getting fed up with us not being where we should be at Christmas, and you know what? So am I. I’m done bouncing around and so are these two. So this time next year, we will hopefully be warm and cozy in our MI home for Christmas. Enjoying Christmas Eve services at the local church(which P’s family has gone to for forever), having a Christmas morning at home, and Christmas with the family who will live less than 30 min away. Yeah, I know, I said home in MI, you caught that didn’t you? Well you’re pretty clever, but you’ll have to wait on that story, I’m still editing out the cuss words that are running amok in that post and I can’t put it up until I do. Don’t worry though, I’ll tell you ALLLLLL about it. In the meantime, have a very Merry Christmas, may you travel safely and feel the Maker’s hand in your lives during this most precious time of year. I'll put up additional photos from two more Christmas parties soon, they just haven't happened yet!

Here are some pics from our Christmas this year at Flaco’s house

Family Dinner on Christmas Eve 

Our Christmas tree, trimmed and fully stocked with presents underneath. 

K coming down the stairs and seeing the presents

K and her cousins and Aunt P making Christmas cookies 

Santa and his reindeer loved their treats and Santa left K a little note!

West Virginia or Bust!

This is the start of something and so this post is longer than I would like. Read it, or not, it is really just cathartic for me to emote this way and I thought that maybe somebody might want to read about our crazy, fun life! However, I will try to keep posts shorter in the future. 

December 14, 2014

  And so we set off for our new life. Leaving behind family and friends that we cherish and a landscape that is both breathtaking and horrible depending on the season. I never thought I would want to live near my parents, as I have ever been the independent being. But leaving them was perhaps the hardest thing I have done in my adult life. And yet, this leaving brings about the turning of a page and the beginning of a new chapter for my new family. As I sit watching the eastern edge of New Mexico roll by the window of an overloaded U-haul, I take comfort in the fresh start we find ourselves embarking on. This comfort serves two purposes as it also allows me to forget that the car behind us is carrying my most precious cargo; my daughter, who I would trade ANYTHING for in order to keep her safe and my husband, for whom I would do the same. I find myself in good company, though, as our dear friend R is driving this 26’ U-haul that tows an equally loaded 6x12 U-haul trailer. I thank God that we have him here as I feel that neither myself or P have sufficient experience to keep such a lumbering vehicle on the road in these conditions. Wind, hills, mountain grades both up and down, and two and half inches of wiggle room in the steering wheel. The U-haul is a top heavy vehicle when empty..... Our movers unknowingly over loaded the right side so it lists a little to the right making the drive all the more harrowing.

Here’s a good shot of the lean in the truck. 

Our cats are riding in giant dog crates in the back of the U-haul trailer as the carbon monoxide poisoning in the back of the 26’ truck would surely have killed them, and this setup makes it easier for us to get at them for food and water. They are not happy cats right now, but I dosed them with Benedryl this morning and I bet they are sleeping or at least calmer than yesterday. K is asleep in the car with P which I’m sure is allowing him to listen to sports radio in peace, which is really all he wants in life. Peace. How he ever expected to get it with us two girls, two dogs, and three cats(and I haven’t even started to buy all the livestock I want) is beyond me. He is a saint for tolerating us and I love him more than words could describe for loving us despite our failings. 

This is what it looked like from in the rearview mirror while Paul and I took turns driving. The dogs were BORED….. and a little out of sorts. So they would lay there with the seat holding their drool in. K was AMAZING the whole trip. She played with her Leapster, Mobigo, and Innotab and watched movies. It will take a month to wake her brain up I’m sure. 

I will tell you the full story behind our move from AZ later as it will take it’s own post due to the complexity behind the entire story. I can say that part of our motivation behind leaving is to get away from the city life. Also, I want to raise my own food and know what I’m putting into my family’s bodies. I want my child to grow up in a small town with small town values. We couldn’t do any of that in Phoenix. Phoenix doesn't even have a good city life to make up for the urban sprawl that slowly desiccates the desert that I love. It started to be more than I could handle to see it be destroyed and being surrounded by that much bustle and noise was grating. And yet I still bawled as much in the leaving of Arizona as I did when I left my mom. Leaving my family was horrible; it felt like I was ripping my heart out. My parents and grandparents live in the Valley and I don’t know how much time I have left with any of them. I’ll tell you more about them later. When I said goodbye to my sister, L, the day before, I nearly threw her into the U-haul. I waited for years to have sisters(another story for another post) and now I was leaving the one I am closest to? A few years ago I would have said that leaving my brother would be no big deal, but this past year he has lived with us and I have grown to love the man he is turning out to be. It is emotionally devastating to me to leave them ALL.

Here is the view from the front of the U-haul as we drive through Indiana, I think. That was a rough day between the wind, TERRIBLE roads, and some really bad news. I’ll tell you about that in a later post. When the wind sheer coming off the semis would buffet the Uhaul, I held my breath and slammed my eyes shut. Dang dude. And also, drafting is, for real, a good way to save gas money. 

           But this is our opportunity, and this opportunity is a great chance for us to grow together as a family. No one to count on but one another. We survive together or we crash and burn together. I think maybe every new marriage would benefit from this trial by fire and I am truly looking forward to us having to depend on each other and forming an everlasting unbreakable bond that only those who band together in a fight to survive can truly understand. I think, aside from ridiculous technological differences, this same bond is what got the pioneers through. Without that support system, the west may never have been truly settled. So we are pioneers. Maybe not by previous historical standards, but we literally just packed up everything we own and are caravanning across the country to our land of opportunity. The horses that pull us are slightly different and our covered wagon is a giant U-haul, our teamster is a landlord/plowman and sometimes contractor. Our livestock consists of one American Bulldog(Petey), one Australian Cattle Dog(Rooster), and three nondescript house cats(soon to be mousers: Inigo, Milo, and Janey). But we are pioneers, braving wind and weather, all worldly possessions in tow, as we strike out for opportunity. We strike east instead of west, because maybe sometimes, in order to go forward, you have to go back. (Queue Matthew McConauhottie in a Lincoln.)

K and R are the best of friends. He truly is family to us and we could never have made it without him. Here he is helping K win a toy from The Claw!

So, what will we do when we get there? Once we can feel our backsides again, P will work and for the time being, I will settle our house. And then there will be two choices, go back to work part time and take care of K and the house, or find a way to work from home. I would want to work from home by creating things that I would in turn sell on Etsy and eventually to raise some egg laying beasties, some wool bearing creatures and possibly even a cow or yak for milk, meat and yarn. But that last part is more long term. So for now, I either find a way to be profitable at home or go back to work. I could start a pet sitting/dog walking business, and I may. I might be able to get work on the farm across from our new house(would be awesome) or something part time in town, but I need to be in charge of my schedule as it is very important to me that I only work while K is at school so I can be home with her. Maybe this time next year I will be homeschooling her, but until then, public school is where she will head this week. So, still some decisions left yet to make, but for now all I have to do is make Tulsa before having to beg for a pit stop again. :)